They might not reach out for help, it’s a good idea for you to check in on them.
Moving Through Grief: Proven Techniques for Finding Your Way After Any LossThe first holiday season after my father died, I felt something like an orphan. Family turmoil arose in his absence, and I felt like no one cared about prioritizing time together during the season. I wantedfrom my friends but did not want to be a burden with my problems, recognizing that the holidays are such a busy time.
“Prewrite some cards or postcards to your friend, and stamp them, so you don't have to figure it out as the holiday season gets busier. Invite them to holiday meals or parties; be understanding if they aren't in the mood,” Kubacky said. Because grief takes many forms, it’s important to remember that just because you’re ready to show up doesn’t mean your friend is ready to have you there. Sometimes grieving people need space, Kubacky said, so just offering your presence is a good gesture.
“It's okay to be more direct and avoid those platitudes. Saying something that validates their suffering, like ‘I know that Jim's illness really took a toll on you as well,’ acknowledges that their pain is multifaceted,” Kubacky said. “Being specific and offering to help is also important.
Kubacky recommended checking in with yourself periodically and letting your friend know if you need to switch subjects.
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