Many people feel ashamed about their mental health-related struggles, and will work hard to hide them, even from those closest to them. Know the warning signs:
While awareness around mental health issues has increased over recent years, it can still be really difficult to recognize a mental health crisis in the people closest to us. The crisis may arise gradually, which can make it hard to notice the changes . And many people feel ashamed about their mental health-related struggles, and will work hard to hide them, even from those closest to them.
It can also be hard to recognize someone’s reactions to a major stressor when that stressor also affects you. For example, if you’re dealing with the stress of a recent move, you might not be as aware of how this major life disruption is affecting a family member. At these times we may need to deliberately remind ourselves to check in with those around us to see how they’re doing.
First, consider consulting with someone who also knows the person well—another family member, for example, or a mutual friend. Let the person know what you’ve observed and what your concerns are, and invite them to share anything they might have noticed. It can be hard to know how to respond to a possible crisis, so teaming up with someone else if often a good idea.
These conversations are often not easy to have, so be prepared for a range of responses; for example, the person might:Get irritated, perhaps because your concern feels unwarranted, or because it’s well-placedGet defensive, perhaps as a result of feelings of shameThe issue of shame is very important, because it so often accompanies psychological difficulties, and often prevents a person from being open about their struggles.
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