'In general, I have no idea when I’m being annoying. In most situations where I’m doing something weird, I have no clue that I am doing it. I could be licking my fingers and not even know it.'
I am that kid. That one in the back of the class being helped by another teacher. That kid who no one wants to play with. That kid who no one really knows. This has been me most of my life with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
I was a happy kid. And I still am, but it was a lot harder to be happy after the first day of third grade – the day my life got significantly worse. I lived in Los Angeles until the end of second grade and loved it. A kid’s life couldn’t get any better: friends, nice teachers, happy family, sunshine. All that changed , when my family moved to Washington State.
From that first day at my new school, nobody wanted to play with me. I started coming up with quick, cool lies about my life in L.A. to make them interested. But, still, there was one kid in particular who never let me play in his group of friends. I really wanted to, so I would ask and ask and ask. Being in third grade, I had no idea how annoying that could be.In general, I have no idea when I’m being annoying.
Group work is hard for me. If I don’t know everything I’m supposed to do, my brain prevents me from getting started. This leads to yet another annoying scenario. I start asking a barrage of questions and I don’t stop. It’s very weird. I feel like I literally CAN’T stop until I know exactly what needs to happen. Then the students at my table think, “This kid’s annoying.” If I were one of those kids, I would be extremely overwhelmed with my questions, too.
I don’t choose to be annoying or gross. Most times I just underestimate how weird something is, and I’m missing that part of the brain that sends weirdness alerts. Is that so terrible, after all?
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