AskABoss: “It’s one thing when I can see the reason I might have been rejected, but if an employer decides I’m not ‘good enough’ for a job that matches me perfectly, how will I ever get hired anywhere?”
I know there’s no point in taking it personally when you’re rejected for a job. When I do get rejected, I can usually come up with a reason why I wasn’t a good fit, even if I’d been excited about it previously. For example, one time I realized that the interviewer sounded like they really wanted someone with a particular skill that I don’t have. Another time I was pretty sure they had an internal candidate on the team who they wanted to promote.
You’re falling into the very common trap of trying to read too much meaning into the results of your job applications. Hiring processes tend to be frustratingly opaque to candidates, and when you combine that with how high the stakes feel if you’re really interested in the job, it’s natural to try to read into whatever the outcome is — and to draw conclusions about yourself along the way.
Frankly, it’s impossible to know from the outside what’s going on behind the scenes in a hiring process. It’s also always possible that an employer is looking for a qualification that you didn’t know about — sometimes because they didn’t realize they wanted it until they saw it in someone else . Sometimes, too, it just comes down to personal style. Sometimes one personality type just fits better into a team or with a manager than another one does. That could be you in one hiring process, and someone else in a different one. And it’s very hard to know from the outside when that’s a strong factor in how an employer is evaluating candidates.
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