Dear How to Do It: I'm dating again, and one thing is very different these days.
Dating on the apps is different—the way we filter for what we’re looking for is a bit like ordering a Domino’s pizza, in a way that I suspect contributes to objectification. Dating in your 30s is different too—people tend to be either staunchly casual or very focused on finding the partner they’ll raise a family with. And this is all happening during COVID, not to mention the other upheavals, a period when many of us are reevaluating our priorities and generally under a lot of pressure.
The ways people treat us sometimes become part of our identity. Not necessarily in an “I’m hot” kind of way, but in a “dating frequently means navigating partners wanting more from me than I’m interested in giving them” way. It’s weird when that changes. But dating is usually a process of meeting people and sorting out whether we fit in each others’ lives at that moment. It sounds like you’re hoping for a few long-term sexual partners, and maybe to go on dates with them as well.
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