'We aren't like sisters or best friends, nor do we want to be.'
. They laced up past my ankle, and were two sizes too big for me. Over years of wearing them, the red leather warped to my feet and the soles scuffed with years of use. I wore them with jeans in the winter and sundresses in the summer. Three years later when I left for college, they were one of the first items in my bag.
My mother didn't resist when I asked for them, like I thought she would. Instead she told me about how she used to change her shoes when she left her house for school in the morning, sneaking out of her house with a pair of men's boots smuggled in her bag. And the thing was, I never had to sneak the out of the house, she simply let me wear them. She prides herself on this, believing that her open-mind to my shoe selection probably prevented a harsher rebellious phase.
Our phone conversations became less about me and California, and more about her. This was and is how my love for my mother manifests itself. I am forever. I suppose I turned myself into her as a way with coping with being from home. My mother, for so many years of my life was a sign of stability and warmth, and being states apart from her I felt like my college lacked those qualities. I wanted to make a home, and to do that I felt I needed constant reminders of my mother.
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