The entire area was dark. As I approached my car I suddenly felt a man holding a knife against my neck.
This man said he would kill me if I told anyone, and the cops expected me to walk across the parking lot, in the dark, moments after I had been raped. I asked the officers whether they would have said the same thing to their mother or their daughter.The cops took me to the hospital where I was given a rape kit to collect physical evidence and undergo sexual health tests. Several weeks later, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea as a result of that incident.
My assault was often brought up by doctors as I began moving through the medical system over the years. They asked me questions about the situation—which I'd had therapy for—that had nothing to do with whatever my medical problem was. It was interesting to me, that distrust in my experience. I would compare the experience to an overweight person going to the hospital, and regardless of what the problem is, doctors telling that person they need to lose 15 lbs—for me, everything came back to mental health issues.In 2016, I had a hip replacement. For years prior to the surgery, I had terrible sciatica and back pain, but was never given any medication, aside from ibuprofen. I was in such excruciating pain I had to use a cane.
At that stage, I knew it was not my history as a rape survivor, but the fear from doctors of prescribing any opioids. And while that was not the case in my stage, I certainly feel a patient's history as a sexual assault survivor is a factor in many of these scenarios. Women, however, came into my office and started crying to me, revealing they had been raped but had never felt able to tell anyone before. There must have been three or four women who came into my office and cried.After my hip surgery, I was given five days' worth of pain medication.
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