It's time to stop talking, stop getting defensive and start listening.
If white women are going to be anti-racist instead of merely race-tolerators who prefer neutrality, we need to listen—like, really listen—to what black women are telling us. We cannot be real allies unless we are able to reign ourselves in, unless we can stop using our white privilege to talk over black women and proceed to tell them how they need to respond to racism.
Because when we take a black woman’s pain, digest it, and then turn around and make it about us, we are centering whiteness. Again. It’s like, “Enough about you. Let’s bring it back to me, OK?” If we are going to reject black women because they are upset about racism, we’re no better than a stereotypical racist. And FYI: not all racists wear confederate flags on t-shirts, MAGA baseball hats, and throw around the n-word.
Racists can be people who post peace-and-love MLK quotes—but never speak up when yet another black person is unjustly killed by police. Racists can be those who never tell their racist uncle to shut-up at Thanksgiving. Instead, the uncle gets a pass because he was “raised in a different time.” Tolerating another person’s racism is racist.
When a black woman shares why #AllLivesMatter is hurtful and harmful, we need to say, “Tell me more.” We don’t need to clap back that “the real problem is black-on-black crime.” No pity responses either—like, wow, “That’s so sad.” And then you move on to that hilarious viral cat video your friend posted.
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