OpEd: 'Part of growing up means having rough patches, being nasty and adolescent and petty. We deserve our growing pains, the gnarliest of puberties, the deepest of insecurities. I deserve this, and my girl Devi does too.' - malavikawrites
Part of it is on principle: Asian women are often stereotyped as meek and malleable, and there’s something subversive about Devi’s awfulness. When Devi kicks over a trash can, I imagine the model minority myth taking a palpable blow. And part of it is personal. Politics of representation aside, I want to relish in my own potential for nastiness.
I sympathize with difficult protagonists like Devi. Like her, I was not easy for boys to like in high school. I organized protests and picked fights in history class, once making a grown male teacher cry. Rage comes easily, the first defense for women of color in a world that convinces us we’re crazy. There is something wonderful about throwing your head back and shouting from your gut, knowing that’s the only way you’ll be heard.
in the past for writing Indian female characters who exist solely in relation to white people, minimizing female friendships or other WOC characters in favor of romances with white men. The truth is that exceptionalism is a natural response to a society that teaches us there is only room for one of us. White supremacy pits WOC against each other, valuing competition over collaboration.
Deep down I knew, like Devi, that I feared being defined outside of my terms. College was a place for reinvention, and I knew what I wanted: to be viewed as interesting before I was Indian. If you asked me then what I valued about myself, I would’ve mentioned my creativity, caring nature, and knack for attracting excitement. The exact opposite of the Indian girls who I wrongly perceived as belonging only to each other, invisible to men, nerdy, sexless.
As I learn to love myself, I am regaining my love for other Indian women — the sense of home, comfort, unspoken belonging. I’ve had life-altering friendships with white women, but I’ve often felt a subtle, inescapable power disparity. It’s different with women of color, especially brown girls. People assume that I enjoy our friendships because we can share culture and food. That’s certainly part of it, but it’s not the biggest perk. For me, that’s the experience of bearing each other’s witness.
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