In her new book, BITTERSWEET: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole, bestselling author Susan Cain explores how we experience, express and transform pain. Here, she discusses bittersweetness amidst the tyranny of positivity and normative smiles.
Cording:Some of the biggest or most obvious or clearest paths of transforming pain are of transforming it into beauty and another is transforming it into healing. I say in the book that whatever pain you can't get rid of, make that your creative offering. This doesn’t mean you have to go out and compose a symphony or have a painting shown in a gallery in New York City—It's not like that. You could bake a cake or perform a gesture for somebody who could use that gesture.
And as far as healing is concerned, the best way we can heal ourselves is to try to heal somebody else suffering from a similar type of wound. One of the great archetypes is that of the wounded healer, which appears in our mythology and fairy tales. That wound gives that person a unique strength that only they have. There's something in us that transforms pain into beauty by trying to heal the very thing that attacked us or hurt us or laid us low.
One aspect of it is that, especially in the 19th century, as we moved more towards wanting to be successful in business, we became a society where we divided people in our minds into winners or losers. People started to believe that if you succeeded at business, if you were a winner, it was because of something intrinsic to your nature.
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