'There is not even a gesture toward follow-up, a charade of caring how I am and what the outcome was.'
I have a few theories about why fertility care can be so much colder and more transactional than prenatal care. For one thing, fertility treatment is considered elective, in the same category as plastic surgery, so doctors may be inclined to treat patients more casually . For another, fertility treatment is often not covered by insurance, so if you feel more like a paying customer, it’s because you are.
I’m on the other side of things now. Looking back at my fertility treatment, I can even find it funny; every few days I’ll say to my husband, “They still haven’t called me,” and we’ll both laugh. I’m grateful that I’ve made it here, and that for the next seven months or so, I can look forward to compassionate care, care that lets me know that me and my baby are in good hands.
But my experience, and the experiences of others, shows that this industry needs to change, needs more transparency, needs a greater emphasis on not just outcomes and bottom lines, but the experience of real people giving it their all to become parents. Would I go through all of this again to be where I am now? Absolutely. Does that make it okay? Not one bit.is a freelance writer based in California by way of Brooklyn. She covers a range of topics, including health, culture, food, and parenting.
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