Interrogating the Cost of Silence and Finding My Voice

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Interrogating the Cost of Silence and Finding My Voice
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A Personal Perspective: Sharing my story allowed me to become my true self

in 1985. It's a 17-minute segment called"The Burks Have AIDS," about a young couple and their infant in Pennsylvania—the first reported American family to have the virus. A 40-ish Diane Sawyer interviews Patrick Burk, 27, a person with hemophilia, who had contracted HIV from blood-clotting products and unwittingly infected his wife, Lauren, 24, who then passed the virus to their baby, Dwight.

Her words and the segment stick with me in that up-at-three-in-the-morning-thinking-about-it kind of way. In the almost 30 years since the piece aired, advances in research, education, prevention tools and strategies, and effective treatments that let people with HIV live healthy lives have progressed the narrative, and these kinds of fears don't dominate the 2023 headlines.

Even after the secret was no longer necessary, the silence was something I did not let go easily. For almost 20 more years, I carried it close, quarantining those painful feelings that tied on to all of its complicated pieces. It took me a long time to understand that I was allowed to change the rules I'd had to follow for so long.

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