It's time to live without needing the illusion of control over your surroundings. You can start by taking off your headphones. 🎧 📹: WIRED Staff // Getty
I asked Zachary Rosenthal, director of Duke University’s Center for Misophonia and Emotional Regulation, for some advice on weaning myself off of noise-canceling devices. He recommended evaluating the situations in which one experiences sound sensitivity to determine which ones are likely to result in a particularly negative reaction, such as a tantrum.
I tried this with the leaf blower. I imagined a possible backstory for the blower’s handler in which he was very ill and had to leaf-blow at dawn–even though whenever I watch him from my windows, gargoyle-like, there never seem to be any leaves to blow–so his employer wouldn’t find reason to let him go. As a chronically redundant employee myself, this made me feel close to the man. When the potency of the first scenario wore off, I imagined another possibility, and another.
But there’s also shame in being a warrior of the quiet car. Trying to suppress the urge to glare—knowing that I’ll just feel like a noise cop once I succumb—only makes it worse. So I sit there, eye twitching, torn between an irrational but powerful fear of escalating annoyance and the horror of being a glarin’ Karen. Opposite action doesn’t require me to try to ignore a sound, which is impossible. Instead, I give the sound my tacit permission to exist. I still get to be the boss.
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