Do you offer yourself the same gentleness and compassion that you show a dear friend who's struggling? If the answer is no, here's what you can start doing differently.
Self-kindness is a component of a self-compassionate frame of mind and contributes to greater well-being.Source: Simon Ray/Unsplash
Kindness is leaning into a deep trust that people are really trying their best. It is holding space that life is inherently hard, and people have varying degrees of capacity in how they show up. Knowing this, we meet people with compassion and understanding and maintain perspective. There is also a gentleness in kindness with knowing that no one has to carry the weight of the world on their own and that there are people who want to help.
Take a moment to reflect. Do you show up for yourself in this way? Do you recognize that you are trying your best with the tools and resources you have, in the circumstances you find yourself in? Do you offer yourself the same gentleness and compassion that you would show a dear friend experiencing struggle? Too often, we neglect to show up for ourselves in this way.
We hold ourselves to such high standards and meet ourselves with judgment and criticism when we fall short of our expectations. So many of us try to be perfect and leave little room for error in our personal and professional lives. We get stuck in this"when-then" trap, telling ourselves, “When I get this done, then I will give myself a break.” Unfortunately, the breaks and self-care never come, and we start neglecting our own needs.
The reality is that life is messy and complex for all of us. Holding ourselves to these ridiculous standards of perfection is not sustainable. We are humans, living the full-human experience, and not one of us is without faults. We will inevitably make mistakes, experience setbacks, and stumble along the way. We need to meet ourselves with compassion andKristin Neff is a researcher in self-compassion.
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