In an excerpt from madisonbeer new memoir 'The Half of It,' the singer shared that she considered ending her life at age 16.
, the musician shared that she considered ending her life in the weeks after her nude photos leaked online and she was dropped from her label and management at age 16.
“Once, on a particularly heavy day, I climbed over the edge of my balcony in LA and stood there, a million thoughts running through my head as I stared down at the ground, my eyes going in and out of focus,” Beer writes in an excerpt published byTuesday. “I don’t think I would have jumped. It was more about knowing that I could — that I had a way out if it became too much. Still, I lingered there for a long while, chilled by the fact that I wasn’t all that scared of being up so high.
“My little brother found me and screamed for my parents, and as I climbed back over, listening to them all freak out, I was only confused why they were making such a big deal out of it,” she adds. “The thought of killing myself was so normal to me at that point that I had forgotten it wasn’t something everyone pondered on a daily basis.
In the excerpt, Beer discusses how being dropped by a label prior to that moment on the balcony took a toll on her confidence. “I went from having the support of an entire professional team and photo shoots on huge, shiny sets to shooting the cover for my next single with a handheld camera in my living room,” she writes.
She also writes that she was in the midst of rebranding herself as a “strong, bad-ass independent female” when she was in her “darkest years.” “I wanted to be a solid, empowering role model for my audience, but in reality I felt anything but,” she writes, referring to her
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