Man Realizes He Only One Of College Friends Falling Out Of Touch

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Man Realizes He Only One Of College Friends Falling Out Of Touch
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ATLANTA—Having long assumed he and his four closest friends from college were simply drifting apart as they got older, local 30-year-old Brian Paulson told reporters Wednesday he has slowly come to realize he is the only member of the group losing touch with the others.

Paulson, who shared a five-bedroom apartment with Erik Bannen, Stephen Leona, Adam Kurtz, and Jason Lu during his last three years at the University of Virginia, said that after seeing a recent photo of his four “best buds” together on Facebook, he began to understand his core group of college friends was not, in fact, falling out of contact.

“Apparently, those old college friendships aren’t fading away at all,” he added. “Not for them, at least.” According to Paulson, the idea that his friends had not slowly disbanded started to become clear to him after seeing that first photo of the men with their arms around each other, cutting up for the camera just as they might have a decade ago.

Additionally, Paulson is said to have perused his former roommate Lu’s Instagram account, which documented what is apparently an annual Colorado brewery tour and biking trip taken by the group, which Paulson said he had a faint recollection of being invited to several years ago, but remembered being too busy to join them at the time and texting his regrets.

“You’d think the fact that we all live in different cities and have full-time jobs and significant others would keep us from remaining close, but it doesn’t seem to stop them from getting together at all,” said a visibly puzzled Paulson, who cited a recent status update from Kurtz expressing his excitement about the University of Virginia’s upcoming homecoming weekend in which all of the group members’ names except Paulson’s were tagged.

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