If “6 Underground” were opening in theaters, you’d want to be sure to get there on time. Within the first six minutes, Michael Bay destroys a plane, a motorcycle, three cars, countless pedestrians,…
— action movies at least — which need to rip your eyeballs out from the get-go or risk losing your attention altogether. As a critic, it’s my job to watch films from beginning to end, but if you were to check my Netflix queue right now, you’d discover five movies with less than a couple minutes viewed of each one. “Continue watching?” the app asks. Naaah.
If they were superheroes, their power would be invisibility. But they’re not, and that poop-green coupe is proof that they’re not exactly trying to keep a low profile. The presumed-dead gimmick doesn’t really hold up under scrutiny, but that doesn’t so much matter when the movie doesn’t slow down long enough to let you pick apart such details.
Fortunately, it’s virtually impossible to sustain that level of intensity for an entire feature, and Bay and screenwriters Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese allow for brief moments to catch one’s breath along the way. In that opening scene, for instance, the Alfa Romeo speeds through Florence’s Accademia Gallery, pulling up just short of Michelangelo’s David to deliver a brief art history lesson.
“6 Underground” belongs to the school of “if you keep things moving fast enough, nobody will stop to question the logic.” The movie explains how One earned his fortune , but never reveals how he became such an efficient killer, or why he’d want to. Rather, the movie views the world as “an endless, evil, shitty loop … wrapped in red tape,” and sees the 6 Underground as the apolitical answer to our prayers.
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