I shouldn’t have to address their false assumptions about my clothing and behavior.
I’d love to indulge in a great meal or fantastic dessert or wear my skinny jeans again, but the aftermath just isn’t worth it.
I especially hate to demur when a guest brings a great dessert, but I must. I don’t think I owe these people a detailed medical history, but simply referring to a “medical issue” can make it sound too serious.It seems to be a universally accepted truth that all people really want to do is indulge in fattening foods while wearing sweatpants. And that anyone who claims otherwise is only in need of coercion or bullying in order to succumb.
And jeans, while pleasant for some, are like sausage casings for others. A good high-necked dress or a suit and tie may be genuinely more comfortable. She therefore suggests that you gently counter-shame these narrow-minded comfort-seekers: “On the contrary, my intention was not to make others uncomfortable, but to be comfortable myself. Surely you are not in the habit of defining that for others.”I have always felt that people who invite others to attend an event, knowing they can’t attend because they live far away in another state, are just asking for a gift in their absence.
Granted, societal greed has reached epic proportions, but accepting the idea that invitations are issued only to extract presents is too cynical even for Miss Manners. She would ask, therefore, that you still try to assume the best, keeping in mind that attendance and present-giving are always optional.
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