Her words wounded me. What should I have said?
I returned to my home following the funeral, and a concerned friend offered to pick me up and take me out for a cup of coffee.
It felt like my friend was ignoring the depth of what I was experiencing. It felt like a knife had been stabbed into my heart. Honestly, I wanted to just jump out of the car and walk home! Yes, I still miss my mom. I always will. Maybe my friend didn’t realize just how calloused they were.Your experience illustrates why Miss Manners urges everyone not to improvise when consoling mourners; grief can be both intense and irrational.
Having now addressed herself to everyone else, Miss Manners will only add that she is sorry for your loss and believes that your friend was, too.My son-in-law tells me that his generation finds it OK to invite a woman to dinner without her husband. He and my daughter do not like my second husband, and want to invite me, alone, to dinner with them at their house.
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