Plus: Must I explain that I have chosen who my family will be?
When I talk about members of my family of choice with others, I do not make a distinction between the two groups. I talk about my by-choice brother, niece and nephews the same way I talk about my relatives by blood. And the feeling is mutual: My brother-of-choice has introduced me as his brother; my niece and nephews call me “Uncle,” and so on.
But on occasion, someone will ask, “Oh, I didn’t know you had a younger brother!” or “Wait, so what’s their relationship to you?” I often just say, “Actually, they’re my family of choice” and move on, but is there a better way to do this? It can be tough to explain, and leaves some people scratching their heads.You get points for not being, as some would, angry at the head scratchers. But that does not change Miss Manners’ answer: Language is a shared means of communication and when you unilaterally redefine common words, you will have to explain what you mean, patiently.
Explaining the virtue in why you made the change is not prohibited, but it is not an acceptable substitute.What is the polite way to tend to necessary household chores when you are hosting guests for several days, and they refuse your suggestions of a lovely walk, a good movie or a visit to a cute shop so that you could take care of things in their brief absence?
It seems impolite to clean around guests, but equally impolite not to keep things tidy during their stay.After suggestions for an outside activity or relocating to another room have been ignored, you may vacuum around them — so long as you do not intentionally run over any toes.
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