It seems rude to not acknowledge the occasion, but given the state of their marriage, ....
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My best friend and I have very frank and open communications on most topics, but there is one issue I feel very unsure about properly handling.
She and her husband have an extremely acrimonious relationship, and are together only because of the practicalities of caring for their children, who have special needs. She usually wishes me a happy anniversary, and I always plan on returning the greeting -- but when the date rolls around, it feels trite and offensive to wish her a happy anniversary fresh after hearing about their most recent battle.
It seems rude to not acknowledge the occasion, but given the state of their marriage, I can’t come up with a way to tactfully commemorate their milestone. Is there any good way to handle this situation? GENTLE READER: Birthdays are not always happy and mornings are not always good. Greetings and commemorations are not commandments that recipients are expected to follow.
Therefore, Miss Manners recommends you simply tell your friend “Happy anniversary” -- perhaps adding an “I hope you have a ...” before it if you must.
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