Mr. Olympics Has Arrived

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Mr. Olympics Has Arrived
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Pita Taufatofua’s immaculately oiled pecs are back!

He’s back!! Photo: Jamie Squire/Getty Images This year’s Olympics — the 2020/2021 Tokyo Games — are an exercise in extreme ambivalence, given all the obvious bad clouding the promise of sporty excellence. But at this morning’s Opening Ceremony, a bright spot broke through the gloom. What is that; is it … the sun, or is it torchlight bouncing off a Tongan flag-bearer’s immaculately oiled pecs?

Mercifully, the latter. Mr. Olympics — whom you may know as Pita Taufatofua — is back in the house, baby. On Friday morning, Taufatofua did his bit to open the games, strolling into the stadium abs blazing. The rare summer-winter athlete, Taufatofua has carried Tonga’s flags at the past two Olympics, and he’s done it with a generously lubed six-pack.

Photo: Patrick Smith/Getty Images Taufatofua — competing only in taekwondo this year, after an inaugural attempt at kayaking went sideways — first became a gleaming sensation at the 2016 summer games in Rio de Janeiro. There, he flouted the official command to “please just wear the suit” and instead smuggled in a ta’ovala, his traditional dress “representing 1,000 years of history” and showcasing his chiseled torso.

But — what’s this? I’m receiving reports that Pita is not the only athlete registered in the glistening-pecs category at this opening ceremony. Please, meet rower Rillio Rii, representing the Pacific Island nation of Vanuatu and giving Pita a run for his money. Which, well, what are the Olympics without competition??

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