AskABoss: “I want to be sensitive to her stressful situation at home, but also make it clear that she needs to stop this behavior. Any suggestions?”
I share my office with a woman I’ll call Katie. We generally get along, but she is an awful office mate.
I’m in a role where I’m basically tethered to my desk all day and my boss is not keen on me leaving to do my work elsewhere. My work is confidential, so it’s not like I can go to a café or other public space. In order to deal with this, when she’s in the office, I have my headphones on with the music cranked up. The other day, when she was having another loud argument with her husband, I needed to speak with a colleague about a project.
Ugh, this sounds really uncomfortable! Having your office mate openly fight with her husband and then cry about it while you’re trying to carry on with your work is genuinely disruptive. As sympathetic as you might be, most people would struggle to remain undistracted by that. As for what to do about the disruptive personal calls, you’re right that if you talk to your boss, the first thing she’ll probably ask is whether you’ve spoken to Katie directly. It’s smart to try to address it with Katie now so that if you do need to escalate it to your boss, you’ll be able to say you’ve tried that.
Given that she’s refused your request to stop taking other calls on speakerphone, it’s possible she won’t acquiesce here either. But even if she doesn’t, you’ll be in a better position to talk to your manager about the situation because you’ll be able to answer “Have you talked to her about this directly?” with “Yes.”
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