'I still nurse my daughter, put her down for naps, and change her dirty diapers.'
Dear Quentin, I’m a working-from-home mom and my supervisors have no intentions of bringing me back to the office at this time. In order to actually get work done, I have pieced together childcare using the help of family and friends.
I have one friend who has really gone above and beyond to adjust her own flexible work schedule around my meetings and deadlines. She cooks and cleans and cares for my infant daughter while I’m busy working. I know I could just send my daughter to daycare, but due to family health concerns and COVID-19, we hope to delay daycare for as long as possible. Plus, spending time with my child is priceless.
The average cost for a nanny to care for one child in 2021 was $694 per week, up from $565 per week in 2019, according to Care.com, an online marketplace. That works out at roughly $140 per day, assuming a five-day week. If you had a nanny, you would be paying them nearly three times what you are paying your friend.
To you, she is a friend who has been unbelievably generous with her time, and her labor. But the fact that you pay her already blurs the precious boundary between friendship and business. You have become more than a friend to her, but she has become less than a friend to you. Not less of a friend, but less than a friend.