‘While it’s obvious I’m the one with limited means, the norm is for me to pick up the tab on dates and weekend getaways.’
My girlfriend has a net worth of around $20 million and, well, let’s just say I don’t. Luckily for me, she truly loves me and we hope to get married someday. Although we would have a prenup, she has concerns that I will limit our lifestyle in the future.
We are both 50 years old and would like to retire by 60, if possible. Of course, she could easily retire now, but she actually enjoys her work. On the other hand, my job is stressful and exhausting, but I’m able to save about 20% of my gross each year.Unfortunately, without a willingness to compromise on her part, an unexpected windfall for me or some other unexpected change, I’m not sure how to navigate the situation.
I’m a bit old-fashioned and love the chivalrous position of picking up the tab, but shouldn’t she just plan to cover the big-ticket items like a plush wedding and honeymoon, extravagant retirement expenses and other posh desires? Or is our relationship just doomed?You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions related to coronavirus at [email protected], and follow Quentin Fottrell on Twitter.
“ Having 20 times your net worth should not be a reason to never compromise. Today, it’s a wedding, tomorrow it’s the rest of your life. ” If you can both afford to live comfortably and retire you are in a far more privileged position than millions of people. Such conversations are awkward. We are bombarded with messages every day telling us that our sense of self worth is wrapped up in our bank accounts. Of course, a woman with $20 million is no better or worse than someone with $20 to their name. And a man with $1 million is no better or worse than someone living paycheck to paycheck.
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