“Drawing with kids offers a pretense, and that’s what I needed. I needed a small child who could barely talk to sit in my lap and shout the names of animals in my face until I drew them for him, over and over, forcing me to overcome my self-consciousness”
Photo: Stevie Remsberg; Source Video Getty Personal Project is a week about hobbies and digging into our hidden talents.
Instead, I draw dogs and mice and cats and little cartoon babies with a spiral curl of hair. Some are awake and some are asleep, depending on my son’s demands. Some are on skateboards. Some are on fire. Some are driving. There are mommies and daddies and babies. There are sloths hanging onto elephant trunks, and birds atop the sloths. Somewhere between a camel and my kindergartener telling me that hippo eyes “aren’t like that,” my resistance slackens and I submit to what is in front of us.
Most of the time, though, my drawings are laughably bad. I don’t actually know how to draw, and I doubt I would do it without the exceedingly low bar of my young children’s approval. Something about drawing in particular has always felt genuinely humiliating to me. Inadequacy and effort on display, right there in plain sight. If you tried to draw something concrete and specific — a person, maybe, or a car — one look at the original shows where you went wrong.
Barry’s books are a loveable combination of practical and mystic, and her insights into the vulnerability of the artist are never grandiose but reliably make me cry. In Making Comics she addresses drawing shame directly: “Something about drawing does become too much for some people. It’s more than just feeling ashamed … it’s fear. There is an urge to destroy the drawing — to snatch it and ball it up, and toss it.
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