'When I think about my relationship with my siblings, I'm not bitter. I'm grateful.'
, which was so heartbreaking, especially after I spent years idolizing and loving my older siblings. Had our relationship been poor from the start, I probably wouldn't have been affected much. But it struck deep, and as a result I believe it played a role in my struggle with mental health issues and alcohol use.
The roller-coaster relationship continued into adulthood. I got married, and my husband and I had a son. I fit perfectly in my own family, but I was still trying hard to fit in with my siblings. And I still thought everything was my fault, so I forgave them and continued to work on our relationship. The thing is, when things weren't bad, we were actually pretty close. I enjoyed spending time with them.
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