11:41 p.m. | I spot what I think is a gay boy, but then he brazenly shoves his tongue into a girl’s mouth
Diplo and Delevingne at Nebula. Photo: Jarrett Birnbaum, Of The Art Whether it’s for work or pleasure, you’ve probably noticed that I tend to party with a lot of girls and a lot of gays. This week, in the interest of heteronormative representation, I decided to go somewhere I figured would be bristling with breeder boys: a Sunday night Diplo show at the new outer-space-themed midtown megaclub Nebula, which opened late last winter in the same spot that once housed the Korean nightclub Circle.
11:15 p.m. | Upstairs, the main club area is a massive 5,500-square-foot dance floor plus four separate bar areas and a mezzanine. Spotlights of gold light waterfall onto the floor, and on the ceiling six motorized electronic screens move up and down and side to side, flashing lights and somehow making the whole place feel like the inside of a spaceship.
11:55 p.m. | I take a shot of vodka to work up the courage to talk to someone. First up, a mousy blonde visiting from Pittsburgh who admits, “I actually hate EDM. It’s fucking brutal. It’s like somebody fell asleep on the DJ stand.” No matter, she’s decided to risk a headache tonight to party with her friends.
12:29 a.m. | More shots, because good God. The single woman with the married friends is dancing on top of a couch. Yikes. 1:35 a.m. | While I’m finishing my cigarette, a nasally partygoer with winged eyeliner approaches me: “Do you have a lighter by chance? I totes lost mine.” She proceeds to tell me she’s a journalist, a writer behind “a new Netflix series” about plastic surgery , and also a doctor — “actually, a veterinarian.” I ask how her night’s going. “It’s fun. Duhhhh! Duh! Duh! It’s not like I’m going to a library. My fucking sister dragged me out of my fucking bed to do this. Yeah! Duh! Cool beans.
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