Op-Ed: How to find freedom from 'worst-case scenario' thinking (via latimesopinion)
By sharing my story, I hope to dispel stigma and internalized shame, and help anyone struggling know they are not alone.
The tacit premise of my approach, both with M. and with myself, was that well-being depends on things turning out the way we want them to. M. could be happy only if she kept her job. I would be OK as long as we didn’t lose our houseBut what if we did? Even if the probability was low, the possibility was terrifying. As I looked deeper, I realized that examining our thoughts more closely not only helped when we were unduly worried — it was especially helpful when life didn’t go our way.
I didn’t become indifferent to my health or our financial situation, but my peace of mind was no longer tied to them. This shift in thinking opened the door to mindful acceptance — the willingness to receive my experience just as it was. Living with mindful acceptance, writes the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön in “The Wisdom of No Escape,” means “saying yes to whatever is put on your plate, whatever knocks on your door.”As a gay Latino, I encountered limited and lacking treatment options.
Embracing all of life — even the rough parts — is a nearly universal tenet in wisdom traditions like Buddhism. It is foundational to Stoicism, for example, as expressed by the emperor and philosopher Marcus Aurelius in “Meditations”: “Accept the obstacle and work with what you’re given.” Similarly, the early Christian writer Paul told the church at Philippi that he had “learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
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