“The first time I held my daughter, instead of feeling boundless joy and radiant love as I’d expected, I was overwhelmed with fear and remorse.” (Via latimesopinion)
. Women most often delay childbirth due to costs — child-care, education and healthcare expenses have risen more quickly than wages. But the older a woman gets, the more likely she’ll need fertility treatments to conceive and, as her age increases, so does her risk for postpartum depression.
I was lucky. I was already under the care of a psychiatrist, and my postpartum depression was diagnosed four weeks after I gave birth. I got excellent treatment in an outpatient program at UCLA that specializes in maternal mental health. I spent six hours a day, five days a week, in group therapy there, alongside six other clinically depressed mothers. Our babies attended with us.
In the clinic’s group therapy room the other mothers and I listened to one another’s stories and reflected one another’s experiences. Feeling compassion for them taught me compassion for myself. Their courage gave me courage. Together, over time, we healed. But there is still a severe lack of specialized treatment, and much of what is available is not accessible to those without financial resources or good insurance. The program I attended in 2018 was one of 12 like it in the U.S. Now there are 24, but many, many more are needed. After the implementation of California’s 2019 screening law, the program I attended became so overwhelmed with women calling to join, it had to close its wait list.
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