'I had spent the better part of the last decade distancing myself from my family — to spare them the pain of becoming socially ostracized because of my sexual identity — I was really inflicting on them the pain of a distant family...'
After 10 years of hiding my queer identity, I finally came out to my mom at the kitchen table of my childhood home in Irvine. Tearfully reading a letter full of “I know’s” and “I’m sorry’s,” I looked up, expecting her to disown me. Instead, my mom looked at me with pleading eyes, asking: “Does that mean you’re not going to move back home?”
No matter who I was or whom I loved, no matter what other universes might exist, my mother, like Evelyn, wanted only one thing — to be with her child, to be close to family and to be home together.The complicated connections and lore found in my comics collection was just the kind of system that helped me bond with my science-loving son.
I called my mom as I left the theater. Since then, my family has embarked on a virtual queer-movie marathon that changed our relationship forever.” and even the shockingly sexual Korean lesbian thriller “The Handmaiden” Our movie nights have allowed me and my family to talk about sexuality outside the intensely personal context of me and my personal relationships. Instead of asking me why I wouldn’t just marry a man to fit into society, queer movies like “Bohemian Rhapsody” pushed my parents to consider whycouldn’t just marry Mary Austin. It gave me a reprieve from defending my way of life and gave my parents the answers they needed.
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