L.A. Affairs: 'It was the most perfect first date I'd ever been on. And then I woke up the next morning...'
When I broke up with my boyfriend of nearly five years — my longest relationship to date — I felt lost.
At the time, I was organizing local shows and constantly on the lookout for new musicians to network with online. A friend posted a video of a band on Instagram that caught my eye and introduced me to the band’s guitarist. We connected on social media, and he commented on one of my posts about one of my favorite bands.“I’m OBSESSED with them,” he wrote. He also asked if I wanted to hang out that night and continue our fandom in person: “Now I must know you,” he said.
The idea of putting yourself out there for others to decide your value with a swipe isn’t appealing to me. Even meeting someone through social media seems like an artificial experience — the dating world has evolved into something strange and contrived.While “stranger danger” was a big part of it, I also believe in the beauty of establishing authentic connections.
We ended the night by playing video games at his place until 3 a.m. He never once made a move or made me feel uncomfortable — he respected my space. He walked me to my car. “Text me when you get home so I know you made it safe. I’ll stay up for it,” he said. I was swooning.The next morning, I had 20-plus new texts from him. Texts telling me how much fun he’d had. How much he liked me. Multiple texts asking me to come watch him perform that night.
So I declined his invitation to hang out that night but otherwise ignored his other texts and messages and tried to keep things civil. That didn’t work. So then I decided it would be best to just ghost him: I stopped replying.
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