The way forward when it comes to a risky teen and driving involves a plan and helping the whole teen.
We have a 17-year-old who believes he’s on the verge of taking his road test for his driver’s license. Based on a variety of less-than-great life choices involving drugs and alcohol, my wife and I aren’t 100 percent convinced we’re ready for that . He hates “indefinite answers,” as in, “We’re not sure when you can get your license.
Remember, every teen wants to feel connected, purposeful and experimental, so the goal isn’t just “don’t drink or do drugs.” As parents, it’s important to help your son find a way to give back to others, work on something in a group or, my favorite: Find another adult to shepherd them. Involvement from a family member, coach, teacher, therapist or another loving adult can have a huge impact in supporting your son.
If you hold your boundaries, create clear plans and attainable goals with your son, you can make these positive changes with him. Yes, he ultimately has to do the work, but your clarity and firmness will unquestionably help him along. It gives him a prescription and a clear sense of when and how he can become a driver.Your son will probably disagree with the boundaries, eye roll them and even lash out at you, but if you remain vague, your son will push around your choices.
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