'My 15-year-old niece lives with me and my wife because her dad doesn’t have a job or a house. She got her first job, and he starts telling her she’s too young to have a job. ...'
8.
"'If an atheist saw your face, they’d start praying on the spot.' Safe to say I have never recovered.""While discussing divorce, my ex-wife suggested we have a child to fix things. I told her having a child with her would be the equivalent of littering.""I have stage 4 cancer. My aunt is super ignorant and hateful. She went on a racist tirade, and I told her, 'Goddamn, you make me wish my cancer would hurry the fuck up.
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