Just think about where your clothes have been.
"Take off your pants," I command. When I say this, my date inevitably gives me a look from somewhere at the crossroads of bewilderment and sexual excitement.
And that, also inevitably, is followed by a conversation about my particular proclivity. Which is that only clean things are allowed to touch my bed. No suitcases or purses; they've been on countless floors and other suspect surfaces. Not even me when I'm dirty; I'm the weird roomie who showers when she gets home from the bar.I'm always surprised when my request confuses my guests.
The ridiculousness of my answer—and maybe the million vodka sodas we'd just imbibed—sent us into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Which woke up the rest of the girls and forced me to explain my comment to everyone.
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