VATICAN CITY—Receiving protection against chemical, environmental, and immoral hazards in the workplace, Pope Francis reportedly began wearing a miter fitted with a hard polycarbonate faceshield this week to comply with the Vatican’s new health and safety standards. “When presiding over mass in one of our holy facilities, the pope is required at all times to wear a miter fitted with a heavy-duty, splash-resistant visor, which safeguards the eyes and face against everything from contaminated holy water to flying sparks from a swinging thurible,” said Cardinal Angelo Sandri, who noted that the shield was designed with a hinge along the brow, offering full facial protection while still allowing His Holiness to swivel the visor away from his face when he needs to drink from the Communion chalice or kiss the feet of the poor. “It might be a little uncomfortable to wear during long papal audiences, but all it takes is one stray metal shard or evil spirit and the Vicar of Christ is blinded for life.” Vatican sources confirmed that the new wardrobe requirement was spurred by a 2015 incident in which the pope had four teeth knocked out by an errant host.
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