Why it's important for people to feel grateful for who they are—not just what they've accomplished
My Mexican grandmother is a beacon of strength, and for many years I have turned to her for advice and support. This is no ordinary woman: She birthed and raised 18 children in a poverty-stricken environment. Hers has been a life of obstacles and adversity, a life that has created within her a deep well ofAt 18, I was struggling to figure out my life plan: whether I should go to college, what I should study, whatpath I should choose.
Her words challenged me to develop a new perspective. They were confusing and thought-provoking because they were at odds with what I’d been taught to believe by my hardworking immigrant parents, namely that I had to choose one career path for the rest of my life, one that should provide me with enough money to buy a home, raise a family, take vacations, and eventually retire so that I could then enjoy my life to its fullest.
or sad.” I repeatedly told myself that I needed to give thanks for everything in my life, and although I was indeed grateful, I often felt as though something was missing. Time and again I would wonder,One morning, I started with my usual routine of expressingSomeday you will know what this life wants from you.I realized that my practice of gratitude had always been focused on outcomes, on the achievements of my life: a home, a career, healthy relationships with friends and family.
. Above all, love and hope. These things had all been required of me at one point or another; indeed, they had been the mechanisms behind everything I had achieved in my life.rather thantook a fair amount of time. It was far from easy because I’d never turned the gratitude magnifying glass on myself.practice, clients from all walks of life report feeling guilty for their lack of gratitude for their lives.
When I ask them to consider all the things about themselves for which they are grateful, I typically get a deer-in-headlights stare that indicates tremendous discomfort, as though they’ve just stepped into uncharted territory, and I’ve asked them to show me the way. “It feels so weird,” they usually say. “I’ve never done that before.
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