Bringing up baby without the support of extended family is equal parts challenging and rewarding.
Throughout early history, millions of moms managed parenthood with little more than a breast and a blanket. But what our ancestors didn’t have in research, technology and, well, general comfort, they made up for with something not all of us can claim today: extensive family—people to watch their children, impart wisdom and, in short, just show up.
I emigrated from Australia about 10 years ago in one of those cliched scenarios where wanderlust got the better of me. A 12-month jaunt became “just another 12 months” for the next however many years. Suddenly, I found myself engaged and paying my fair share of a mortgage. At first, this didn’t seem remarkable; life was just happening as it inevitably does.
This isn’t an unfamiliar story. Across the United States, thousands of families raise children alone or with very little support for a multitude of reasons—and many don’t have a choice but to carry on and figure it out. The fact that I had a choice became my sticking point.
Worse than the lack of available support and the lack of me-time, was the lack of overall investment from the people around us. Sure, our friends wanted our little one to thrive—but were they going to change their plans when our son’s school announced dates for his nativity? Would they frame our son’s finger painting masterpieces? I needed to readjust my mindset to realize that while having a personalized fanclub for our son would be wonderful, it wasn’t essential to ensure that he felt loved.
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