Six months ago today …. Tom left this house to never return again. Did he know or was he just telling me…in case. “If something happens to me, this is what I want….” I…
Six months ago today …. Tom left this house to never return again. Did he know or was he just telling me…in case. “If something happens to me, this is what I want….” I remember right where he was standing and I remembered what he said. It was a little strange that he did that. He had gone so many time before and didn’t list what to do. This time he did. I am grateful now, of course. But I never imagined in a few short days I would need to remember and share it.
Last week, our daughter had her first birthday since her dad died. Just typing that brings tears to my eyes. I find that there are unexpected things that do that. I imagine that there always will be. Sunday I have turned from political programs day into random movie day….and you know when you watch a movie that you know nothing about, there will probably be parts that will break your heart in two. From people just loving each other, to unexpected deaths of spouses, parents.
I want you to know just because I come here to write about it, that this isn’t ALL there is. There is more to life than grief. Of course. But grief right now, especially this first year of all the firsts….is real and raw and always near by. Grief is ready to be triggered by any little thing. It sneaks in sometimes, quietly. Sometimes in slides in screaming! I wish I could describe to you how it feels to be in this skin, this brain, this heart. I can’t fully.
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