The fourth of July has come and gone, along with your ear drums. Surely the beautiful gunpowder blasts in the sky known as fireworks have freaked out your babies, pets and vets. Maybe you have a hilarious (or horrifying, probably horrifying) story about the time Uncle Bobby had a few too many and launched a sparkler into your Aunt Becky’s house. I want to hear about it. But I also want to hear about the other kind of fireworks, the kind you feel when you’re with a person and they set your undercarriage ablaze. I’m talkin’ butterflies, but I’m also talking fireworks. In this week’s Pissing Contest, let’s get a little conceptual and a little literal. Tell Jezebel about the time you felt fireworks, however you’d like to define it.
your date is singleMid eighties, my friends set me up with one of their co-workers. I take her to a Dodger game. Driving to the stadium, right next to Olvera Street, some sort of high official in city government or the LAPD runs a red light, smacks the car next to me, and that car smacks the side of mine. We all spin through the crowded Friday night intersection. I go over to the other car, find two women screaming in Spanish, and a young girl cut up from banging around in the back seat.
Eighth minute: Dropped totally irrelevant details about his career , education , and class standing . Twentieth minute: Offered to read my palm. I waffled. He pushed. I said fine. He took my hand and told me about my life line, my love line, and so on. Then asked me to rate on 1-10 scale how “adventurous” I am, how “spontaneous” I am. I played along to be polite. Then asked 1-10 how good of a French kisser I am. He grabbed my hair and try to kiss me. I recoiled . After I pulled away he ‘splained that in his past dating experiences, that exploring kissing on a first date is very typical.
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