SexDiaries: 'There’s a text from the matchmaker. Ted really liked you but he decided to take things further with someone else he’s casually seeing. Onward! I get upset for maybe three seconds. I’ve built up a tolerance for this stuff.'
Photo-Illustration: James Gallagher This week, a woman browsing sperm donors online and looking to a matchmaker to set her up on virtual dates: 42, single, Dumbo.7:30 a.m. I’m trying to maintain as much routine as before, so that means waking up and working out. Most mornings that’s a three-mile run. I know everyone hates the joggers right now, but I wear a mask and go early enough that I barely see anyone else. I run down to Red Hook and back. I listen to ’90s hip-hop. I try to feel normal.
7:00 p.m. I make myself stop working so that I can get ready for this FaceTime. I pour some wine and put on a little makeup. 8:30 p.m. I have a Zoom thing with my closest girlfriends. Everyone is married with kids except me. My friends are cool. They know I struggle. They don’t make it weird. They don’t pretend my life is better than theirs in that condescending, “Ugh I wish I could be single!” way. No one wants to be single at 42.
8:30 p.m. Matthew is very nice. He has this thing that I’ve noticed in men who’ve been too single for too long in New York in that I think he kind of hates women. There’s anger there, as if he feels like too many women have wronged him. That said, it’s a nice enough chat and I’d have another one in the future if he’s game. Let’s see what the matchmaker says.9:00 a.m. My friend gave me her password for a sperm bank so every now and then, I browse the donors.
9:00 p.m. We’re on the call. I don’t know. This guy is underwhelming. He hates his job. He’s kinda whiny and he thinks he’s being a funny, neurotic New Yorker but it comes across more like he’s a huge bummer to be around. It’s like, has it come to this? A boring, angry guy whom I can’t wait to stop talking to? Nah. I won’t have another date with him.2:00 p.m. I’ve decided to bake something, so I make homemade cupcakes.
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