Revisiting one of John Mulaney's best jokes, “The Salt and Pepper Diner”
John Mulaney Photo: Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Georgetown University John Mulaney thinks about music a lot. His dead-on parodies of Les Misérables, Stephen Sondheim, and Steely Dan could only have come from a longtime fan. He has spent years with these songs and understands why they work, and that comes through in his stand-up. He composes his words with careful attention to the rhythms they create, and performs them with the precision of the best musicians. He hits every beat just right.
I hate to remind anyone of grade-school music class. I can’t imagine even Yo-Yo Ma has fond memories of sitting in a plastic chair playing a saliva-drenched recorder, learning about quarter notes, half notes, and whole notes. Even so, understanding meter — how musicians divide time into beats — is key to appreciating Mulaney’s performance. From that first joke, he is mindful of how long he takes to say each word and the amount of space he allows between them.
Mulaney tells the crowd that the fifth play of the song is when the diner patrons begin to realize the nightmare they are trapped in. He pauses the story right before it happens. He builds the tension, painstakingly describing one of the customers, adding detail after detail without giving the audience time to laugh.
There is a cliché that the genius of jazz musicians is not in the notes they play but in the notes they don’t play. It doesn’t make much sense. In musical notation, a note you don’t play is still a note. It’s called a rest, and you write it right there on the page. There are whole rests, half rests, and quarter rests, each ready for use when the sound you require is the sound of silence.
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