Forged in the flames of a volcano, by the mighty god Hephaestus, the cast-iron pan will die a tragic death if exposed to the tiniest soap bubble.
When the pan is the color of obsidian, and its weight equals that of a mountain, it is carefully placed in a cardboard box, and is ready for shipping and handling.The indestructible pan assumes its preëminent place on the stovetop. Jen, a mortal, appeases the cast-iron gods with special offerings of fried eggs.The mortal consults an oracle and discovers a prophecy that one day she will cook tomatoes in her cast-iron pan and will suffer severe consequences .
The mortal browns a rib eye on the stovetop and finishes it in the oven, creating a perfectly seared exterior and a juicy, mouthwatering interior. As she takes her first bite, she realizes—The mortal fulfills the oracle’s prophecy and makes shakshuka for brunch because she saw a recipe on Smitten Kitchen that looked really good. Enraged by the mortal’s hubris, the gods seek vengeance and sentence her to an eternity of lower-back pain and overcooked steaks.
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