The Overuse of 'Emotional Labor' Turns All Relationships Into Work

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The Overuse of 'Emotional Labor' Turns All Relationships Into Work
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When the term “emotional labor” was first coined by sociologist Arlie Hochschild in her 1983 book The Managed Heart, she described it as a burden placed on workers under capitalism. Workers might do physical labor, pushing carts, running machines, but they also often perform labor that “requires one to induce or suppress feeling in order to sustain the outward countenance that produces the proper state of mind in other.” This labor—smiling at customers, refraining from yelling at a rude patron because “the customer is always right”—is a labor of performance required to do these jobs. “Part of the job is to disguise fatigue and irritation, for otherwise the labor would show in an unseemly way,” Hochschild writes.

lengthy thread

on Twitter about a friend who texted her, asking permission to vent. While Fabello says this is a good friend who doesn’t need to ask for permission, she explains that texts like this are nice because she is the kind of person who has “several crises” happening in her texts, followers asking for advice in her DMs, and her own problems.

In the degradation of the term emotional labor, we lose a crucial framework to define the taxing emotional burden of being a worker in a society that continually wants employees to believe their coworkers are “their family” so that they work harder and never want to leave their desks. But we also saddle the relationships we can form beyond the workplace, away from our obligations to work, with a similar, dreaded sense of duty.

our relationships, the ones we build out of care and love, into workplace disputes. Fabello writes in her script “could we connect at [a later time and date]” as if checking in with a friend in a time of need is another meeting to be scheduled with a conference room to book.

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