When you lose a relationship this close to you, your very core is shaken.
A few months ago, I lost my best friend. We had a falling out, and she chose to end communication. I chose not to chase her.I loved her. We spent years as the best of friends. We went on vacation together, drove each other to doctor’s appointments, laughed and cried. Sometimes, I laughed when she cried. Every single movie moved her to tears. I used joke that she would cry at an electronic billboard if she looked at it too long.
My rational, intelligent side tells me that we are all the bad guy in someone’s story. Sometimes we deserve it. Sometimes we don’t. I can’t spend my life wondering if I should have done something different. I made my choices, I stand by them, and I feel sure that short of foreseeing the future, I couldn’t have done it differently.
You won’t shake me on any of those things. Good or bad, my certainty about who I am is rock solid. It should be just as simple to apply that self-confidence to my character. But when you lose a relationship this close to you, your very core is shaken.
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