BERKELEY, CALIF.—The following is “transcribed” from a letter “handed” to me this morning by a mysterious, hooded stranger.
He came bearing news that our city had recently voted togendered pronouns from municipal codes in reference to inanimate objects and descriptions of labor. Albeit brief, the interaction was certainly unnerving. He called himself a “Concerned Local Man” and informed me that his voice needed to be heard. After asking him to leave, he informed me that “We’ve lost the war.” As I asked “What war?”—the man turned, walked a few paces, and rested his hand on my front porch’s railing. “The only war.
First they came for businessmen. People told us, “It’s fine! It’s progress!” Then they came for our children’s clothing. Led by the witch they call Celine Dion, theytheir kids about in “gender neutral,” “stereotype free” t-shirts, pants, and onesies. How foolish we were, writing Facebook posts and drafting change.org petitions to turn the tides of this war against American values.
The war was lost at a city council meeting on Tuesday night in the city of Berkeley, California. A new ordinance—proposed by council members Rigel Robinson, Cheryl Davila, Ben Bartlett, and Lori Droste— approves a city-wide scrubbing of gendered pronouns to describe inanimate objects. Afrom City Manager Dee Williams-Ridley to the mayor and councilmembers provides further context on how such changes will be implemented.
Gendered subject , object and possessive pronouns shall be replaced by a gender-neutral description of the pronoun referent’s title of office, employment or descriptor. [...] The measure would also change other terminology. “Manhole” would be changed to “maintenance hole,” “manpower” would be changed to “human effort” and “sorority” or “fraternity” would be changed to “collegiate Greek system residence,” according to the ordinance.
“I have enough trouble remembering the names of people I meet. I do not need to compound the problem with remembering pronouns. And if I default everyone to they and someone says that their pronoun is “Princess Knickermuffin,” I will forget and use they again, causing more social awkwardness.”We exist, and we demand visibility! Shame on Berkeley for denying men their manholes—holes which were historically dug and crawled in by men.
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