I let my kids know that grief is normal and it takes time to process the death of a family pet.
I will never forget the sound of my husband’s sobs as the home euthanasia vet let us know that Roxy was gone. Even though he’s not a particularly “macho” guy, I had never seen him cry—not on our wedding day, not when our babies were born,Some deeply buried cultural conditioning about what it means to show emotion was released from him that day, and it was as if our entire family was given a permission slip we didn’t know we needed that said: it’s okay to cry.compunction about crying.
And so we wore our pain on our sleeves in those first few weeks, held each other through it, and it has brought us closer than we’ve ever been before.We spent the days and weeks after our pup passed telling stories, creating art, and poring over pictures of Roxy. It wasn’t until my son started having impromptu “funerals” on our family outings that we realized how important these little rituals of grieving were to his ability to process something as complex and overwhelming as loss.
We humans are ritual beings—we ritualize everything from birth to death to the way we make our morning coffee. And there’s a reason: Ritual is a way of putting a pin in the map of our lives and saying “this matters”—a way of marking the turning points in our days, seasons, years, and lives. Contrary to what we often think, ritual doesn’t have to be all “bells and smells,” as, but it can be a simple action imbued with meaning and intention.
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