'The moment I leave this house I won’t be able to come back, so what do I do?' As vulnerable people are isolated from Coronavirus 3 months, Sam Dowler describes the agonising choices facing their loved ones.
“It was when the health secretary said on TV about people with myeloma being at high risk that we just went, ‘Oh shit,’” says Sam Dowler, 42. He lives with his father, Graham, 74, in Hertfordshire, caring for him with his mother as they manage the treatment for Graham’s incurable cancer. “He went white in the face.”
“I haven’t seen my boyfriend in two weeks,” he says – and he has no idea when it will be safe to see him again. ?' The other night I started to panic because I thought I would have to live somewhere else just to save him and thought, '" The stress of worrying, and the fear of being infected without knowing it helped cement his conclusion.
Dowler’s mother, Jackie, tried to help, suggesting he could still see David as long as they kept two metres apart. “But if that’s your partner all you want to do is hug them and I can’t do that.” Along with everyone now, Dowler can’t see members of his family who live elsewhere; his sister and nieces nearby, with whom he had planned to spend time, giving them art classes as they sat out the school closure.
Graham was only diagnosed because of chance – because of his son. Dowler had badgered him to join a gym and see a personal trainer. The trainer pushed him so hard that he “hurt himself and ended up going to hospital where they X-rayed him,” says Dowler. The scans revealed holes in Graham’s spine and ribs. Further tests revealed that this was multiple myeloma.
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