Raising a 9-year-old will kill you softly. But you just know in your heart of hearts that Nine ain’t shit compared to Thirteen.
Terrible twos. Threenagers. Feisty Fours. These ages get a bad rap, mostly for good reason: Toddlers are assholes. They behave like the drunk guy at the party: spilling shit everywhere, yelling belligerent nonsense at everyone in sight, and then passing out in the middle of the floor. They eat all your snacks. They piss themselves, and on the rare occasion they make it to the toilet on time, they get pee all over the seat.
Nine is indignant. Nine slams doors, not because Nine is a toddler who likes making loud noises, but because she feels the need to express her extreme annoyance at her little brother because he asked her a question, or he had the nerve to bounce a basketball, or pretty much just because he dares to exist. Nine stomps up the stairs, not because she is a toddler pretending to kill bugs or lead a marching band, but because her little sister doesn’t want to watch the same TV show as her.
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