U.S. Citizenry Admits It Could Kind Of Go For Charismatic Authoritarian Dictator

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U.S. Citizenry Admits It Could Kind Of Go For Charismatic Authoritarian Dictator
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WASHINGTON—According to a Pew Research Center poll conducted this week, the overwhelming majority of Americans admitted they would actually be fairly interested in having a magnetic, forceful dictator oversee and control all aspects of American society.

According to the Pew survey, 71 percent of Americans would be okay with blindly adopting the views and goals of an electrifying military ruler, while 84 percent of citizens admitted they would prefer waiting in line at a set place and time to receive food rations, basic household provisions, and medications from the state instead of having to rely on themselves to choose and procure such necessities.

In addition, 98 percent of U.S. citizens said they would gladly welcome an omnipotent one-party government apparatus that could quickly and effectively deal with societal problems as it saw fit without any input from them whatsoever.

In addition to the appeal of simply kicking back and relinquishing responsibility to someone else, Americans said there were a number of other added perks associated with installing an authoritarian government.

While many survey respondents acknowledged that forced labor camps and widespread shortages of electricity would be less than ideal, they affirmed that such negative aspects of the totalitarian regime would be more than offset by the attractive prospect of never again having to make any major decision about their lives.

“I think we should just give an autocratic state a shot for a decade or two and see how it goes,” Bunn added. “It’s not like I vote anyway, so it wouldn’t even be that big a deal.”

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